Other Features include News Balls:  Panda Dung Tea, a man saws off and cooks his own foot in order to continue collecting unemployment insurance, an IT worker is arrested after urinating on his co-workers’ office chairs, Dog Poo-powered WiFi, and a Chinese kid sells his kidney for an iPad.     Baba Gonesh returns to the studio with another installment of ‘Baba News’.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Daniel Link

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This episode originally streamed live at exactly 100 years after the Titanic struck the iceberg.

Our special episode is chock full of facts and statistics about the Titanic:  the construction, the launch, the passengers and crew, the food that was served to both first class and third class passengers including the last meal.   We discuss the tragic accident, the lifeboats, the sinking, and the wreckage.   We get a flavor of what life on the Titanic was like by listening to readings of letters written by some of the passengers.  Music was a special part of the voyage and we play a few tracks that were played on board.       We close out the show with a special rendition of Ally singing, “My Heart Will Go On”.

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It really isn’t the same chicken that was originally launched in Saw Wee Kee park in Oswego back in September of 2010.   The rubber chicken that was attached to the registered dog tag became detached and somewhere along the way it was replaced by a laminated photo of a chicken.   Still, it is good to have her home.   She will get a makeover and we will try it again.   Stay tuned…

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Former WDGC-FM Smorgasbord Co-Host Dave Jackson joins Chris in the studio while Ally is on her 8th grade spring break trip in Florida.

Chris and Dave look back on some of their old radio bits including the time when Chris got fired from his job at Time Life Telemarketing.   They discuss a disturbing new product – Twitter toilet paper where you can get your favorite Twitter feed printed on 4 rolls of toilet paper for the low price of $35.

Other features include everyone’s favorite game show, ‘Get a Life’. In addition to giving away a brand new life, Chris and Dave play some of the original ‘Get a Life’ bits from the old high school radio days.    There is an update on Tisha Chicken, the SmorgShow geocache travel bug, who makes a complete return trip home after two and a half years of trying to get to Chicken, Alaska.  Baba Gonesh visits the studio and delivers a dramatic reading of  a classic Indian Folk Tale, “The Hunter and the Doves”.   Finally, Chris and Dave take the show on the road to the local Starbucks where Dave shares a tragic fertilizer story.

Featured Artist of the Week: Damon Hill

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Ally is just days away from her spring break trip to Florida with her science class and she walks through her itinerary.    Chris thinks Ally is too young to be heading to Florida for spring break, but thinks spending a day at a turtle hospital is probably harmless.

Chris officially launches his voiceover business website and gives an update on some recent jobs he was awarded.    In conjunction with the website launch, Chris discusses a new podcast he is launching devoted to the voice over acting industry.  The Voice Acting Journey Podcast will debut in April.   More information can be found at VoiceActingJourney.com.

Baba Gonesh visits the studio and presents “Baba News”.   He discusses “Angry Brides”, a very popular game in India based on Angry Birds, only this game allows brides to get their revenge against opportunistic dowry seekers.

Finally, Ally debuts the audio from her award-winning science class video project.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Jonnie Murphy

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The only mystery to me is that my birthday is in November.

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Terror in Mumbai!! Baba Gonesh returns from India where he witnessed first hand the chaos and mayhem resulting from wide-spread panic of the rumored “Monkey Man”.  Local residents believe that a peculiar figure resembling a black monkey runs on their roofs at night, swings from tree to tree, kidnaps children, and attacks women before consuming them.  Baba plays actual testimonials from the local villagers describing their personal experiences.

It’s Ally’s birthday and Granny Rose visits the SmorgShow studio to celebrate.    Peet McCain joins us live from Cleveland to give us an update on his bread and breakfast venture as well as his pursuit of a Tuk Tuk.    Returning to the show this week is “Get A Life”, the game where we give away an exciting new life to someone who is in desperate need of one.  If you would like to trade your worthless life in for a new one, call our studio hotline at 312-95-SMORG.  Tell us why you feel you are deserving of a new life and then choose door number one, two, or three.    Your new life will take affect almost immediately, so you better prepare by saying goodbye to your friends and family before calling into the show.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Ed Hale

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Chris and Ally discuss Valentine’s Day gifts that guarantee to get you dumped, Baba Gonesh returns with “Thought for the Day: How to Prepare for a Date” as well as his annual reading of his carefully selected love poems.   Ally performs a duet with Phillip Donald, “My Heart Will Go On”.   Chris plays his classic love song written when he was 14.

Also, with the untimely death of Whitney Houston, we share a YouTube video performance of someone trying way too hard to sing Whitney’s classic “I Will Always Love You”.

Featured Artist of the Week : Aitan

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Chris talks about the Podcast Mastermind group that he has joined.   Baba Gonesh is back with us in the studio to share an update on how his colonoscopy went and then presents Baba News including a tribute to one of his favorite actors and singers, Shammi Kapoor.   Ally and Phillip Donald perform a duet together.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Adam Woodall Band

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Stitcher allows you to listen to the SmorgShow directly from your iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad, Android devices, Kindle Fire, Blackberry or WebOS phones!  Please support our show by downloading the free app and entering the promo code SMORGASBORD when you register.

Also featured:  Baba Gonesh calls Chris and Ally to tell them about his upcoming colonoscopy appointment.   He decided not to visit the studio in person while he preps for his procedure.   Finally, more strange Craigslist listings.

Featured Artist of the Week:   Avi Wisnia

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Download the Free App Now

We have some great news to kick off 2012!  Smorgasbord Radio is now a part of the Stitcher lineup.   We are excited to be a part of this growing network of news and talk radio shows.  This allows our show to be heard all over the world on virtually all listening platforms – mobile phones, tablets, SONOS systems, and even in-car dashboards (via Ford SYNC)!   It is exciting to be on the cutting edge of an entirely new way to share our content.

Stitcher allows you to listen to the SmorgShow and your other favorite shows directly from your iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad, Android devices, Kindle Fire, Blackberry or WebOS phones!  On Demand, On-the-Go!    The latest episode is always available for you – no synching needed…and no memory or storage wasted.

Don’t have Stitcher?   Download it free today at Stitcher.com or in the iTunes or Android app stores.

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Other topics:  The creepiest Craigslist listings of 2011; Baba Gonesh returns from a long hiatus and presents Baba News.   He is rather boastful after receiving much attention from his performance in our “It’s a Wonderful Life” radio play.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Loretta Hagen

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• Chris Bockay – George Bailey
• Ally Bockay –  Narrator, The Bailey Kids, Tilly, Mrs. Hatch
• Kim Bockay – Mary Hatch-Bailey
• Geoff Wells – Clarence
• Dave Jackson – Joseph, Burt the Cop, Nick the Bartender, Bridgekeeper
• Jerry Malauskas – Mr. Potter
• Daryl Woltman – Mr. Gower, Uncle Billy
• Chase Woltman – Young George Bailey
• Peet McCain – Harry Bailey
• Baba Gonesh – Ernie the Cab Driver
• Domenico DeFazio – Martini
• Terrylynn DeFazio – Ma Bailey
• Larry Coon – Peter Bailey
• Joe Personality – Sam Wainwright

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The Cast:

Chris Bockay: Ebenezer Scrooge

Ally Bockay: Ghost of Christmas Past

Peet McCain: Marley, Ghost of Christmas Present, Nephew Fred

Geoff Wells: Bob Kratchit

Kim Bockay: Mrs. Kratchit

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A special treat for those who have been with us for the past 30 years. On this episode, the original Smorgasbord Radio Show team – Chris Bockay, Peet McCain, Dave Jackson, and Jerry Malauskas – reunite together for the first time in 10 years.

Ally does not make an appearance during this episode because she could not deal with four old men going down memory lane and complaining about the current state of affairs.

Among the various topics discussed:    Peet and Jerry duke it out to play the best Mr. Potter on the forthcoming SmorgShow Theater production of  ”It’s a Wonderful Life”.  In the spirit of that classic story, we discuss what life would have been like if there had never been a Jerry Malauskas.     We discuss the culture of high school radio WDGC-FM before and after the Smorgasbord show era, and the impact General Manager Fred Moore had on us.     We discuss the trend of moving away from terrestrial radio and toward internet radio and podcasting.  We also discuss the current state of the music industry.      On a positive note, we do not discuss any of our medical issues.

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Features include creepy, dramatic readings from Chris and Ally, Granny Rose shares special Halloween recipes that you can make with friends and family including forked eyeballs and funny bones.  Baba Gonesh presents Baba News, ghostly jokes, and a classic Indian folk tale appropriate for Halloween.  We also sprinkle a few Halloween songs throughout the show by Featured Artists: Earl Clifton Radio, Ben Twisted, and Brian Baker.

A good time for the entire family, so gather them up but be sure to hold on to your little ones…This episode is not for the faint hearted!

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Adam Woodall Band

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News Balls:  Pink Floyd’s pig flies again outside the Battersea Power Station in London, and a man on Salt Lake airlines threatens a man’s life over the armrest.

A new installment of “Get a Life”.   If you want to trade in your old, worthless life for a brand spanking new one, call our hotline (312-95-SMORG) and tell us why you are deserving of a new life.   Be sure to specify door number 1, 2, or 3 and we will give you a new life!

Additional stories in Baba News:  Bihar man commits suicide after cow’s death, Child dropping ritual banned in Bangalore, Ceiling fans from IIT Technical University removed to curb suicides.    Then we close out with a new song by singer-songwriter Phillip Donald.

Featured Artist of the Week:   Derek Clegg

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Chris and Dave with Fred Moore, 2011

I’ve made it an annual tradition to meet up with former WDGC-FM General Manager Fred Moore as he comes through our area each summer with his production company.   This time Dave came along for the ride.    We watched Fred perform as John Wesley (founder of the Methodist movement) at First United Methodist Church in Downers Grove.  It was the first time since high school that Dave saw Fred in person.

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Recipe for Campfire S’Morgs:

• Cinnamon Graham Crackers
• Marshmallows
• Granny “Rose” Smith Apple Slices
• Creamy Peanut Butter
• Milk Chocolate

Granny Rose, Phillip Donald, Anthony Luperini, Judy the Child, and Baba Gonesh join us for this special live, remote podcasting event.   Featured Artist of the Week:  Locomotive Ghost

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We feature an exclusive interview with singer-songwriter Jordan Martyn and we debut a brand-new recording of his.   Check out Jordan’s website at: JordanMartyn.com

Chris shares his professional demo recordings from his voiceover acting class and makes the announcement about launching SmorgShow Productions as an official voiceover recording services business.   Other features include “Baba News”, “News Balls” and a discussion about how the Insanity Workout program is working for Chris after month one.

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Here’s a photo of me after only 5 weeks of the Insanity workout program.   Can you imagine what I will look like after 60 days???

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Audrey Auld

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Other features include: ‘News Balls’ where we discuss an assault using a dead weasel, angry crows dive bomb police in Seattle, an unusual donut shop robbery and a contortionist thief.   Baba joins us for two features:  ”Breaking Bread with Baba” where Baba shares his recipe for a refreshing yogurt-based lassi drink, and a new installment of “Baba News”.  Finally we give away a new life to help save the dignity of one suburban father.

Featured Artist of the Week:   Anthony Walker

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Click to Watch Video

Kudos to my daughter, Ally for putting together this great video.   It’s been great doing shows again with Dave this year.  I think this video captures the history of our friendship and our creative chemistry that I believe still exists nearly 30 years later.

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Featured Artist of the Week: Stonehoney

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Click to Watch Video

Coming to a theater near you!

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Jordan Martyn.   Jordan has been featured on our program before, but on this episode we present a SmorgShow Exclusive:  Jordan’s new studio version of “Runaway to Me”.   We are honored that Jordan has selected the SmorgShow Podcast as the first venue to air his new song before it is made available to the public.   Check out Jordan’s website at www.jordanmartyn.com.

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News Balls:  A new study on belly button bacteria, the corpse flower is set to bloom in Ohio, and a man eats his finger after being depressed.   EASTER BUNNY SPOILER ALERT!  Granny Rose joins us again to give helpful Easter egg decoration and hiding tips. Baba Gonesh presents another installment of Baba News.  Also, we help a man get out of his desperate situation on Get-a-Life.  Finally, ‘Where’s Tisha?’ and listener feedback hotline calls.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Cross the Border

This is a bonus content episode.  Purchase our SmorgShow Podcast App at the iTunes app store and hear exclusive content from Chris and Dave.

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Yes, that is correct… old man Baba has his very own show in iTunes.  If you have a favorite Baba story and just don’t know what episode of the SmorgShow it was from, look no further than Baba’s own show, “Not Just for Baba Anymore – The Wisdom and World View of Baba Gonesh“.  We are still posting past episodes to the catalog, so check back often.   Subscribe to this show and you will hear such Baba favorites as “Thought for the Day”, “Comedy Camel”, “Love Poems”, “Indian Folk Tales”, and my new series, “Baba News”.

So take that…in your pants, Mr. Chris.   I have a show now too!!

- Peace, Baba

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Baba Gonesh talks about launching his brand new podcast series, “Not Just for Baba Anymore – The World View and Wisdom of Baba Gonesh” then delivers this week’s installment of “Baba News”.  Stories include: Man marries his dog, Man Eats a Snake for 100 rupees, Elephant Dung as a source of livelihood, and Elephant Boy returns to school.   Finally, Philip Donald performs.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Katie Thompson

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The class was more of a launching point for those who want to pursue a career in voiceovers.    Dave was an excellent student:  He brought a notebook and writing utensil and took very detailed notes.   The notebook had just about 12 pages remaining as if he ripped out all used pages from the last college class he took over 20 years ago.   Following the class, we headed back to the SmorgShow Studio to record our first show in over 25 years.   Check out episode 49 of the show in the podcast episode section of this site.

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Featured Artist of the Week: Freeky Clean

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Click to Watch Video

Chris and Dave reunite and sign up for a voiceover acting class at Kishwaukee College in Malta, IL.  Dave has his notebook ready to go.

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Click to Watch Video

Chris and Dave right before the voiceover class begins.   Tips for keeping the voice prepared for an effective voiceover.

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After the class, Chris and Dave deal with the harsh reality that they may never make it in the voiceover business.

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There is a lot of turmoil in the world right now and as a result I have decided to present news from the homeland for the foreseeable future.

Listen to Episode 48 when I talk about the monkey catchers in India finally getting paid what they are worth.  Then there is a tragic story of a freakish man-eating elephant who devoured 17 human beings before being brought to his death.  Only old man Baba can deliver this type of news.   You cannot find this anywhere else in the media, so I hope you will tune in.   Hasta la vista, baby!

Peace, Baba

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Call us at 312-95-SMORG and tell us about your boring and worthless life.    You can then swap that life for something more exciting by choosing door #1, 2, or 3!

Earlier in the episode we mentioned we were going to call Dave Jackson for his birthday.  We actually did try to call him but we were not able to reach him.  That portion of this show was edited from the final production.   Happy 46th birthday, Dave!

Featured Artist of the Week:   Todd Koal

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Image from Surveillance Video

On this episode, Baba Gonesh calls in with a play-by-play recap of the near tragedy at Baba’s restaurant where a man tries to blow up the place.    Chris talks about his visit with Dave Jackson over the weekend and his plans to take a voiceover acting class.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Kyle Dine

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Actual Image from Surveillance Video

BREAKING NEWS: Your good friend and life coach Baba almost had his restaurant blown to smithereens!!   Some drunken fool came into my humble establishment and wanted a drink of water.   He was not a customer – he was just a drunk!   Our policy does not allow for free handouts even if it is only a glass of water.   My employees told him to get out of our place, and he left reluctantly.  But he later returned with a container full of disgusting urine and threw it over the counter and it broke all over.    We then threw him out of the restaurant again and called the police.   The filthy creature returned once again  with a container of gasoline and a match.   He tried to strike the match when a very honorable man who was a student of martial arts stepped forward and tackled the urine man.   The fight broke out with additional people trying to restrain the man who at this point was out of his mind and throwing chairs at my employees.

The police finally arrived and took the man away.    We thought we saw the last of him until the next day when he returned to apologize for being drunk.   He came back to look for his iPod which he had lost in the scuffle, which I have in my possession right now.   It was a very scary day for old man Baba.   I do not need this kind of aggravation in my later years.   I would like to thank my co-owner and shift manager Mohammed Malik for his quick thinking and for the brave customer for stepping out from behind the shadows to save the day.

CBS NEWS REPORTS

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Peace, Baba

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We also debut our newest segment, “Get a Life” which was originally featured on the Chris and Dave Smorgasbord radio show.   If you have a boring life and want to exchange it for something more exciting, please call our hotline at 312-95-SMORG.   Tell us why you are deserving of a new life and select door #1, 2, or 3.

Also, the 2010 Stella Award winners are discussed.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Carles Bellot

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Brett Ryan Stewart

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They did a pretty good job discussing the Indian culture and dining etiquette, so consider this episode to be an educational experience for all.    Until next time, I am Baba and I thank you for visiting my blog spot.

Peace, Baba
नमस्ते

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Jerry, Ally, and Chris at Baba's Restaurant

This week we bring you our show live from Baba Gonesh’s restaurant, “The Hidden Palace: A Taste of Baba”.   Old Smorgasbord Radio Show member Jerry Malauskas stops in and co-hosts the show with us.   We discuss Indian cuisine including the basics of an Indian meal, terminology, spices, and desserts.   We go through Baba’s buffet items and Baba joins us to discuss the proper etiquette of eating in an Indian restaurant.   News Balls:  a Hitler-mocking dog, a Russian exorcist killing, Romanian witches who use cat excrement to curse the country’s taxmen, and the star realignment impact on the horoscope.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Junkyard Groove

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Once lunch was over, we took a drive over to Downers Grove North High and snapped a few pictures in front of the WDGC radio station door.   We decided not to ring the doorbell.   It was already obvious that many years have gone by that we didn’t need to be reminded of it by having a 15-year old give us a tour of the studio.    Then we drove over to Starbucks just across the street from the Tivoli Theater and Bowling Alley.  We chose Starbucks because they had free Wi-Fi where we could fire up the laptop and explore some of the old videos that we did back in the day.   We rounded off the afternoon with Dave recording some taglines that we can use for our new show.     Take a listen and hear more on episode #43 when Dave Jackson joins us by phone and shares the challenges he has faced with his radio career.    We agreed that he would come out to our studio in the springtime and do a real episode with us.    Meanwhile, Peet is trying connect with Dave now.   Peet wants to finance high speed internet for Dave so that he can do shows with us remotely.    We’ll see how that goes.    So there it is, the Chris and Dave reunion.  Very low key, but an extremely enjoyable afternoon.

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Featured Artist of the Week: Kelly Harper

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BREAKING NEWS:

Update:  12/21/10: Yes, it is true.  It was quite exciting yesterday getting a call from my wife who had just picked up the day’s mail and saw a card with a return address label indicating Dave Jackson was finally in contact with me again.   One of the earliest blogs here from almost 4 years ago had us finding Dave after many years of being out of touch.   Since Dave has had some health issues over the years, we have always been concerned about him when time passes without any contact.   However, these last several years were much different.   We were getting our letters returned with no forwarding address, all phone numbers we had for him and his family were inoperable, and Dave has absolutely no digital footprint to speak of.   On top of all that, no People Finder could ever guarantee we were actually finding the right Dave Jackson.   So when I received the 4-page letter from Dave yesterday with all the details on his situation, I was quite relieved to say the least.   I immediately phoned him and we talked for at least an hour.

It was a very good conversation and we will be hooking up over the Christmas holiday in person, most likely at one of our old favorite hangouts, the Omega Restaurant in Downers Grove.  We used to go there regularly after our radio show each week.    Perhaps the timing of receiving contact from Dave again is somehow connected to the Winter Solstice coinciding with the lunar eclipse for the first time in 456 years.  I don’t want to make it sound like this is the start of another Chris and Dave Smorgasbord Show run, as I don’t think that will be possible on many levels.   But I truly believe Dave will have something to contribute to the new SmorgShow Podcast and I look forward to whatever contribution he can make.     This is truly exciting news to have my old friend and radio partner back in my life.

I’ll continue to provide updates here as I have them to share.   In the meantime, Merry Christmas to all!

-Webmaster Chris

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We would like to thank all the people who made this recording possible, some of whom even braved the nasty winter weather by making the long journey to our studio to lay down their tracks.   We also want to thank our loyal listeners for making 2010 a very memorable year for us as we brought you our new weekly podcast of the SmorgShow.   It has been a very rewarding year and we look forward to doing more of it in 2011.    Merry Christmas to all and ‘May God Bless Us Every One!’

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Click for Compassion Website

Unfortunately I come to you today with a very solemn message.  Usually just the presence of old man Baba is enough to lighten a room.  Everyone looks forward to my uplifting stories from generations past.  Children rush up to me and gather around my robes as if I were a summer campfire.    Well, let me tell you why I am coming to you today in such a different manner.   While everyone is preparing for their holiday festivals and family gatherings, shopping for loved ones, and celebrating in whatever way that each of you wishes to, it is also very important to remember those who are not as fortunate.

Yes, this is a very charitable time of year.  Unfortunately, we tend to think about those less fortunate only around such time of year when everything else seems to be so abundant.    I am here to tell you about a situation that does not go away simply after the last of the eggnog is had, after the decorations are taken down and put away into storage for another year, or after you send off that final thank you note to a loved one for the generosity that they shared with you during the holidays.   I am here to talk to you about a very serious problem in my home country of India.

The problem is Child Survival:

• Were you aware that of all world’s malnourished children, nearly one in three lives in India, and about half of all childhood deaths are attributed to malnutrition?
• Did you know that in India where there is a population of almost 1.2 billion people, that 35% of the population lives below $1.00 per day?
• Of every 1,000 babies born alive, 52 die before the tender age of 1.
• Nearly half of all children younger than 5 are malnourished
• Every year in India, 1.5 million children die before their 5^th birthday because of unsafe water, inadequate sanitation, or poor hygiene.
• Nearly 30% of all newborns have a low birth weight
• About 46% of children younger than 3 are too small for their age
• 74% of children younger than 3 are affected by anemia
• Only 15% of mothers receive complete prenatal care

But there is some good news underneath all of these dire statistics that I have shared.   I would like to make you aware of an organization called Compassion International.   You can sponsor a child for just $38 per month which will go a long way to helping children in need.   By becoming a sponsor with Compassion International, local church partners provide nutritious food, prenatal care, health care, education, and faith for those in the most need of help.

Your tax-deductible contribution of just $38 a month connects your sponsored child with a loving, church-based child sponsorship program that provides:

• Food and Clean Water
• Medical Care
• Educational Opportunities
• Important life-skills training

When you sponsor a child, you will receive your child’s photo, personal story, and a child sponsorship packet by mail in approximately 15 days.   You will be able to correspond directly with your sponsored child through letters that both of you write to each other.   When children find out that they have been sponsored, the joy they feel is indescribable. Just knowing that someone across the globe cares means more than you can imagine.  Sponsoring a child will profoundly change the future for your child – and you.

I am providing you with a direct link to Compassion International where you can make a profound impact on the life of a child today.   God bless you and your generosity.

Peace, Baba
नमस्ते

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“A Christmas Carol” has been presented countless times, yet it always finds a warm place in our hearts during this time of the year.  We brought in a pretty wide cast of actors for this version and we are having a blast pulling it all together.    I personally think this will top any previous production we have done to date and we hope you enjoy it.

Update 12/19/10 – The production is complete and you can listen to it using the media player below.

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When we first started doing this early this year, I wondered if it was something Ally would even be interested in after a while.  Well, we just finished our 40th episode.   With the exception of only a few weeks where we had vacations, we have been consistent with putting out a show every week.   Ally is very much the same level of partner that I had with Dave.  She is an equal contributor and producer of the show.  Her confidence has grown along with mine during the time we have been at this.   You can hear the difference if you compare our first episode with the most recent one.  We have made a great father-daughter team and I am grateful for the bond that we will always share from this hobby of ours.   As a parent I have often wondered what legacy or impression I would leave behind for her, and I guess only time will tell.   But I am confident in saying that this will be a very memorable period that we will both look back on with fond memories.

Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year if I don’t get around to submitting another post before then!

-Webmaster Chris

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‘News Balls’ with Jerry Malauskas:  What the 12 days of Christmas costs in 2010, a woman calls 911 to report her snowman was stolen, Lee Harvey Oswald’s original coffin is up for sale, a woman gives birth at a McDonald’s, and the sad passing of Prince Chunk the cat.   Finally, we play an exclusive track from the upcoming CD by Jordan Martyn, a recently featured New Artist of the Week and a new fan of the SmorgShow Podcast!

Featured Artist of the Week:  Annie Fitzgerald who is also celebrating a birthday today.

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Jordan Martyn

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Featured Artist of the Week : Jamie Lynn Noon

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SmorgShow SpookFest ’10:

Featured Artist of the Week: Bryan Baker

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Check out this video we talk about on the show about a woman who flips out at a McDonald’s drive-thru after being told they do not serve Chicken McNuggets at 6:30am.   There is no sound to this clip – the action begins at about 1:15 into the video:

Featured Artist of the Week:  Kim McClean

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Featured Artist of the Week: Subplot A

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Results from that test showed we tested slightly higher than the recommended maximum so we did a second test as a precaution.   The results of the second test just came back and showed we were at 3x the recommended level and therefore we must proceed with getting this problem fixed by a licensed radon mitigation contractor (what a cool title!).  Until that happens, we are moving our studio to another location.

So this week we bring you an abbreviated episode.   We have another exclusive performance by Phillip Donald, Baba Gonesh presents another Indian Folk Tale about “The Little Mice and the Big Elephants”, and News Balls: Older than 52?  Then you are probably grumpy, Hot Dog Heist: 10-foot weiner stand goes missing, and a man buys skeleton decorations for Halloween from a yard sale only to find the bones are real.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Tim Miller

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Featured Artist of the Week: Brian Keith Wallen

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This week, we bring you our very special version of Family Feud.  The SmorgShow Players go up against the staff of Baba’s Village Restaurant.  Then, an exclusive interview with former WDGC-FM General Manager, Fred Moore.   Chris and Ally catch up with Fred on the road during his local performance of his “Hootenanny” show.   And Jerry Malauskas makes his debut appearance on the SmorgShow Podcast in ‘News Balls’: stories include a new product out of China turns your iPod Touch into an iPhone, prison guards catch an inmate trying to sneak in with a cell phone hidden in his rear end, and a computer glitch produces a very strange E-Fit of a crime suspect.

E-Fits Gone Terribly Wrong

To book Fred for your next event, check out his website: http://www.programsunlimited.org

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Chik-Fil-A Grand Opening in Aurora, IL

Chris and Ally discuss the upcoming visit to see former WDGC-FM General Manager Fred Moore, the results from the radon gas test are read, another installment of “Where’s Tisha?”,  Chris reads a review from the first Roger Waters “The Wall” concert on the tour and tries to get Ally syched about going to the Chicago show this week, the Chik-Fil-A Aurora grand opening, Chris announces the launch of his wife’s new weekly podcast “Blooming Beauties”, News Balls:  A Naperville, IL woman charged in a dog poop-infused meltdown, the development of an anti-aging ice cream, the 2 quadrillionth digit of pi is calculated, and a Craigslist robber is outsmarted by a Sherriff who was involved in the transaction.   Finally, Baba Gonesh calls in from his vacation in India where he is celebrating the Ganesh Chaturthi festival.  We learn all about Lord Ganesha and the story of how he got an elephant head and fell off his mouse vehicle.

Featured Artist of the Week : Manny

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Annie Fitzgerald

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First official sponsor of the SmorgShow Podcast.

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Admiral Twin

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In the meantime, make sure you download Episode 28 and enjoy one of my favorite childhood bed-time folktales as I tell the same to Chris and Ally.

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Lisa Bouchelle

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Featured Artist of the Week:  This is the Good Fight

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Cherry Suede

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My visit to the SmorgShow Studio yesterday was a short and simple one. I stopped by and delivered some strong-hitting camel jokes which went over extremely well with the show hosts Chris and Ally. They will be going on vacation in two weeks, so I am planning to make a pitch to them to let me host the show on July 31. Check out next week’s show to find out more!!

Peace, Baba
नमस्ते

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Featured Artist of the Week:  The Maybe Sometimes

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I had received many reviews concerning an employee of mine being very rude at the serving counter. So I made the decision to terminate the individual this week. She was actually a carry over from the previous owner (Nick’s Gyros and Red Hots). She seemed nice enough at the time, so I kept her on my staff. But she had since turned very ugly against the customer! (and this is particular amazing since we seem to have very ugly customers). This is absolutely unacceptable and does not meet Baba’s standards. I do wish her very well in her next endeavor.

So I was not able to make the podcast in person this week, but I did call into the program. You can download SmorgShow Podcast 023 from iTunes or from www.smorgshow.com.

Thank you very much and I will talk to you all very soon.

Baba

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Featured Artist of the Week:  27 Years

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Big Walter Horton

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When we got home I grabbed him out of the car seat once again, at which point he got a little fussy. I don’t blame him, I woke him up out of a dead sleep twice and brought him out in the chilly weather. So as I’m carrying him up the walk to our front door through the early morning darkness, Ganesh turns to face me suddenly and says “DADA!!”

And then an amazing thing happened – he ripped not one, not two, but three extremely intense farts. These were LOUD. Maybe they were just amplified by the stillness and dead quiet of the wee morning, but all I know is he farted right on my arm and the vibrations carried all the way to my feet. If any seismologists want to know what that slight tremor was at 1:10 a.m. in the area of the Barnala District of Punjab, fear not! It was merely my son displaying his staggering gastrointestinal capabilities.

But the best part was the aftermath. After he farted, I was flat out impressed. Seriously, it was that good. So he farts, and then there’s this three second pause where I look at him incredulously and he looks at me as if to say “Whoa…did I just do that?” So we’re staring at each other, and then at the exact same time we both start laughing hysterically. Giggling like little kids, which is cool for him and possibly pathetic for me that I still find farts this funny at my age. And then we instinctly high-fived each other. Oh! It was an extremely touching moment for me, and a memory that I carry with me to this very day.

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Featured Artists of the Week: Tony Mecca and Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers

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Pizza Pizzazz

An updated studio version of “Stuck in the Slammer Blues”, a new injury for Chris, and we breaking in the new Pizza Pizzazz after getting a recommendation from Steve Dahl, Philip Donald Performs, Baba Gonesh Jokes.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Brett Mikels

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Justine Bennett

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Ally in front of Baba's Village

Chris and Ally honor the brave men and women who have died serving our country in this special Memorial Day episode.  Also, Baba Gonesh opens his new restaurant and delivers his weekly installment of “Baba’s Folk Tales”.  An update on Tisha Chicken.

Featured Artist of the Week:  Adam Woodall Band

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Adam Woodall Band

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Allison Crowe

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Amy Courts

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Featured Artist of the Week:  Dan-O

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This began the springboard for us in creating all the subsequent old-time radio dramas in our SmorgShow Theater series.

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Our plan at this point is to have the new weekly episode up by late Sunday evening. Follow us on Twitter @SmorgShow for updates when new episodes are available.

It was quite a chore getting the studio put together again after all these years. Some of the old equipment still functions surprisingly well, given that it has been in the crawlspace for nearly 25 years. I even have my original Radio Shack Stereo Disco Mixer that I purchased back in 1979. Other things are just obsolete – no need to use cart machines or turntables when you have an iPod. However, despite having what I thought was every possible combination of audio connection wires, somehow I still needed additional ones to get the entire operation up and running. Good thing Radio Shack is still around. Where else can you find a 1/8” to 1/4” stereo male to stereo female Y-adapter at a moment’s notice? They have their old geeky customer back after all these years.

Looking forward to doing this again. Let’s see how long it lasts.

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Location: Illinois, United States

Log Date: 1/1/2010
grabbed this guy, unfortunately the chicken is no longer attached and it wasn’t in the cache, just the tag on a keyring.

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The Snuggie was definitely the hot Christmas item for 2009 and Allison was the proud recipient of one. She wrote the script for this commercial and I edited this on New Year’s Eve.

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Yesterday we picked up a travel bug in Oswego – when we got home we learned that its goal is to make it to Alaska. We were good for the first 45 miles, and this cache provided a nice roomy stopping point. If anyone planning to head North hits this cache, consider helping out the little guy (its number is DGEGWQ)

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So during a recent blog posting I had mentioned that I was unaware of anything being planned for our 25th high school reunion. However, with the magic of Facebook, a grassroots effort to have a reunion grew quickly and we indeed had our reunion this past weekend. It was a pretty informal affair, basically just meeting up at a local brewpub after the DGN homecoming game. I showed up and when I walked into the room, I thought I was in the wrong place. I thought I had mistakenly entered another school’s 40th year reunion or something, but no – it was my 25th year class reunion! Man did we ever get old. Some people obviously weathered better than others. I guess in comparison to many I saw there, I didn’t feel quite as broken down as I had written about in my last blog when I referred to needing a mouthguard for mouth clenching and something to treat my sensitive scalp.

The great thing about these get-togethers is that everyone is on equal footing. The days of cliques are over. Cheerleaders and jocks actually mingle with the burnouts and radio geeks. It was a respectable showing, but came nowhere near to bringing the roughly 600 or so graduates from my class together. It was a good time overall, and people seemed sorry to see it end. But I left as I did at my 10-year reunion 15 years ago – without exchanging any contact information with anyone. I guess that is the nature of reunions. Really, the only thing that brings such a diverse group of individuals together is something they shared many many years ago. I do hope to keep in contact with Daryl. I think we have more in common than just having attended the same school a lifetime ago.

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As far as the sensitive scalp goes, my dentist didn’t think the pressure being caused by the mouth clenching would necessarily lead to what I was encountering there, so she referred me to a dermatologist who prescribed a special shampoo called Loprox. I picked it up at the drugstore and had to pay $30 for a 120ml bottle that should last about a month. You think that is expensive for a shampoo? The bag said that my insurance saved me $170.00, so it would have cost me $200.00. So why am I telling the world about this? I have no idea. Other than this whole health incident has consumed me for the past couple months. I guess this is what happens when you start getting up there in age. Fortunately I am still young enough for there to be solutions to these problems. I guess the duration between these types of things will shorten over time, and the seriousness will grow. This all has happened leading up to my 25th high school reunion which I will write about afterwards. I’m sure those folks have their own health stories to tell. Meanwhile, I will just have to live with looking like a buck-toothed beaver at night. But at least I have the most expensive hair to get me through the day.

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Well, she is finally off! We came out to Saw Wee Kee Park again and found a great spot near the Fox River for the start of Tisha’s adventure to Chicken, Alaska. For navigation geeks, the official launch point is N 41° 40.402 W 088° 23.605.

We will be tracking her progress along her journey at Geocaching.com and reporting it back here as we get updates along her trip.

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In this clip, I explain the concept of Travel Bugs and how that will help us with our mission of sending Tisha to Chicken, Alaska. Unfortunately, we decided to hold off on launch today after discovering that the cache we had intended to use for her was a bit too small. We will try again over Labor Day weekend.

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So I finally found a hobby that gets me off the couch, but still allows me to mess around with electronic gadgets. In this clip, I attempt to explain the strange world of geocaching. This was recorded at Saw Wee Kee Park in Oswego, IL.

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Downtown Chicken

It would be great to hang out at this bar. Tisha is going to have an awesome time once she arrives.

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Chicken Post Office

As a child, I remember discovering Chicken, Alaska on a military map with my best friend, Peet McCain. Chicken didn’t appear on the average travel map that you used for long, family road trips. I soon became obsessed with this far away land and wanted to learn more about it. After calling Alaska directory assistance repeatedly on my high school radio show, I quickly realized that no one really knew of this place, not even the local phone operators. We were put on hold for several minutes while they tried to locate the town in their system. It turns out there was no established phone service! How odd! And as of the most recent census of 2000, there are still only 17 people living there (consisting of 4 families). There is a post office as you can see in this picture, but still no phone service! However, after years of calling to see if we could establish contact with someone there, Chicken Alaska can now be found on just about any road map. We take personal pride that we were somehow responsible for putting Chicken on the map. So while we would love to visit there someday, it is not really a convenient drive so we instead decided to send Tisha Chicken there in our place. We will be launching her into the wild on August 30, 2009. Check back for the video of the historic event!

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Today marks the 25th anniversary of my high school graduation. And on this very day, I heard from a long lost radio partner – someone that pre-dates the Smorgasbord show. Daryl Woltman and I connected by phone. We did a few shows together when we first started out on WDGC, I’m guessing 1981 or so. I think we did primarily a music show together. During our call today, I learned that we share a significant milestone date in our lives – we became dads on the very same day and year. Only three hours separate the births of our daughters. Pretty cool if I do say so myself. That alone is reason enough to get the girls together. They can gather around and listen to their old fart dads relive the old days of high school radio. Here’s to you, Daryl! It’s good to be in touch with you again.

As for recognizing the actual anniversary of graduation day, I guess I don’t really have that much to say. There is no official reunion in the works to my knowledge. I went to the 10-year reunion in 1994. That was too fresh. I hadn’t really missed anyone yet. No one had done anything except maybe complete college and find their first job. I skipped the 20-year reunion and didn’t really miss it. So I wonder whether I would really get anything out of seeing everyone now, this far down the road. I guess the interesting stuff begins to happen to someone by 25 years after high school. By that time people usually have significant life milestones under their belt. In retrospect, I am happy with how my last 25 years turned out. I have no regrets, really…only experiences and accomplishments that I wouldn’t trade for the world. That alone is worth celebrating.

–Webmaster Chris

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This is the first blog posting on this website that is also going to Facebook. I’m testing it out with this video of Allison from her 11th birthday.

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My daughter Allison on the eve of her 11th birthday. We decorated the basement for her birthday party and this is her jamming to Miranda Cosgrove’s hit song “About You Now”. This brings back memories of me when I had disco parties back in the true day of disco.

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Here’s a way to make a difference during this very difficult economic downturn…

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So I start this year feeling thankful as well as optimistic, despite the news media’s best efforts to make me feel hopeless. Some people are looking forward to the new year and feeling that we are ending one era and beginning a new one in terms of a new administration in Washington. But I instead was drawn to a headline today that said we are finally at the end of another era – the death of the VHS tape! Apparently there was only one remaining U.S. manufacturer still making blank VHS tapes and the last shipment was sent to retailers this past week. There are apparently only 2 million unsold VHS tapes left out there to be purchased and after that batch is gone, that is it. Gone … in the dustbins of history. Joining its ancestors…the BetaMax tape, the 8-track tape, the floppy disk…the Laserdisk. But for some reason, the VHS is more personal to me. It was the primary form of media that I used from my teenage years on. All our videos that are now being digitized for this website started out on VHS. It was the first way to cheaply capture videos of ourselves and family…and soon, not long after the last tape is sold, the magnetic recordings on these tapes will soon begin to fade into history unless they are transferred to something more permanent. But now I am just rambling, so I will sign off for now.

Here’s to the VHS and to a great 2009! Actually, I could care less about the VHS. They take up way too much room.

—Webmaster Chris

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About an hour into my shopping spree, I passed through a section of a particular store that had perfume testers. I sampled two of the fragrances – you know, spraying the little paper strip that they provide. I sniffed both but at the time I thought they were too strong so I kept going. I finished up all my shopping elsewhere in the mall, headed back to my car and proceeded to leave the mall parking lot and go home. When I rubbed my nose, I smelled a bit of one of the fragrances that I sampled and it smelled really nice. Apparently I had missed the strip of paper and some of it got onto my hand. I decided to go back and buy it. This was a mistake. By this time the mall was more crowded and parking was very difficult to find. An ice storm had started and the wind had picked up. I reminded myself that I was going to have a happy face and made it a point not to get irritated.

I went back to the store with the perfume samples. I could not remember which of the two fragrances was the one I liked. I sprayed the strips again, but like the first time they seemed a bit strong. I waited a few minutes, but still they never smelled like my hand did after an hour. The salesgirl came over to find out if I needed help. I explained my situation. She asked to smell my hand…which I thought was beyond the call of duty. She couldn’t say for sure but told me that the fragrances can smell different on the skin versus the paper strip and suggested I spray my hand and wait a bit. I sprayed my left hand with one and my right hand with the other. I was so confused with all the scents so I waited a few minutes and thought it was the left hand. I got into the very long line with my selection and just waited my turn. I started to have doubts about the one I selected. I decided right then and there that it was my right hand that was the one I liked. So I went back to make the switch. This time, the salesgirl came back and told me I could get the lotion of the same scent for only $10 more. I agreed to buy that as well and went back into line. I then decided to open the lotion, and puff a bit of the air out of the tube so that I could smell it. By doing so, I also squeezed out about 3 inches of lotion which I had no choice but to rub it into my hands.

And that is how I ended up smelling like a woman. No wonder I still had a happy face.

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This was recorded at the 20th Anniversary Smorg Reunion.  A little impromptu skit with Chris and Dave.  This ended up being the last video of the the two together.

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I was fortunate enough to be able to make a digital copy of this recording because two of my tape decks didn’t even recognize the recording any longer since magnetic recordings don’t last much longer than 25 years. However, one of my tape decks came through so I was able to do the digital transfer and preserve these early memories a bit longer. Enjoy this very personal look into my childhood years.

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She’s been all over Europe. She’s been on Comedy Central. And tonight…yes, tonight, she is here at the Babylon Club. Buckle up – it’s going to be a laughy ride. Put your hands together and welcome…

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Peet came up with the show’s name “Smorgasbord” to represent a show with endless possibilities, where anything goes.  Even though Peet was not allowed to be an “official” show member since he was from a different school, he would be a driving, creative force behind some of the best bits performed by Chris and Dave.  The show would premiere on September 11, 1982, 8pm.  Chris and Dave secured the prime-time Saturday night, 8-10pm slot for their crazy antics in Season 1.

We would still manage to sneak Peet on the air.  One way was to record the shows from my home studio, and broadcast them later.  Another way was to take the show off-site, as we did in the Spring of 1983, our first attempt at a remote radio show. We got total access to Castaldo Park in Woodridge, IL for our radio/TV show.   Dave was not present for this broadcast since he could not get the day off from work (Rose Records).

CASTALDO PARK

In our first attempt at doing a remote broadcast, the extent of our audience that day was about four 6-year olds who showed up and gave us the finger. We couldn’t use that footage for the TV show. It was a pathetic turnout. Even my girlfriend at the time was embarrassed for us and left. I wonder what those kids are up to now. They’ve got to be in their 30′s by now. They are the Generation X slack-offs that I interview now! There is a picture in this slideshow of Peet wearing bright red pants. I remember he wanted to wear something that would look good on television. What was he thinking?

After the 1982-1983 season ended, Chris and Dave split up to do their own solo shows.    Dave’s Sunday night show was called “Open Mind”, another “anything goes”-type show.  Chris continued with the Smorg brand name.  He teamed up with Geoff Beran, a rather quiet individual.  The show worked, however, and built up a rather loyal following.  “Smorgasbord Saturday Night” moved to the 10-midnight time slot, and had 26 shows.  In February 1984, Chris would take the show to television in a 2-night simulcast between WDGC-FM and CATV.  Sadly, no record of these TV shows appear to exist.   In the 1983-1984 broadcast season, the Smorg crew did two more remote broadcasts, the Tivoli Bowling Alley and The Barn in Naperville.

TIVOLI BOWLING ALLEY

Our 2nd Remote Broadcast was a huge success.  At first it was a bit intimidating walking into the bowling alley/pool hall, where the town burnouts called their home.  We set up our equipment, and they all sat down waiting for us to entertain them.  We decided to make them part of the show, so if we failed to please, they had everything to do with it.  It ended up being a blast, especially when one charming young lad recited his holiday poem, Twas the Night of the Party. This recording is posted in the “Remote Broadcast” section of the site.

THE BARN IN NAPERVILLE

Our 3rd Remote Broadcast – This show had the formula for both success and disaster all rolled up together. Although I’m not sure what success ended up coming of it. At least Peet and I cleaned ourselves up for this one. I think by this time, we had both already been laid. That certainly changes a guy.

We had given away 200 seats on the air for this live broadcast. Both Lisle and Downers Grove cable stations were there to tape the show for a later broadcast. We had 2 local bands open for us. We spent $200 to rent the place and Peet plopped down an additional $200 for pizzas. This was to be the show to push us in the upper stratosphere of high school radio fame! What could possibly go wrong???

On March 17, 1984 and Peet’s 20th Birthday, the largest snowstorm of that season hit. Naperville got 12 inches of snow dumped within a 10-hour period. Since most of our audience relied on their parents for transportation, a total of 7 people showed up. There was some good news – No one gave us the finger that night. Needless to say, for the next three months, Peet and I had pizza as an ingredient in everything we ate. (Sandwiches, salads, cereal, etc.). Chris and Dave tried to make the best out of the night.  That was the first time Dave ever wore a tie!

After about 45 minutes we realized no one was going to show up. We left the stage and went home. A punk rock band took over. These guys were jerks. They were pissed off at the world. What were they pissed off for? They were getting free stage time. Plus they didn’t have $200 worth of pizzas to deal with.

SUMMER 1984

Chris and Dave’s Last Season:  Following Chris’s 6-week suspension from the airwaves for parking his car on the grass outside the radio station, Chris and Dave reunite for 9 final shows.  Shows include Live at the Carlisle (A fake live broadcast at a fancy banquet hall), Live on the Moon, Mystical Melinda’s Psychic Readings, and of course “The Final Chapter”, Chris and Dave’s last broadcast was heard August 17, 1984.  For this last show, we broadcast for 6 hours.  At midnight, all went silent at WDGC 88.3 FM. You can hear the best of these bits in the “Smorg Show Podcast” section of the site.

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There are a couple of shots here of my dorm room at NIU. This is where I would sleep for the next 2 years. Kind of scary looking back at this. It’s even scarier to think someone else is calling this home right now. That was in Douglas Hall at Northern Illinois University. We were known as the ‘Animal Floor’- $2000 in floor damage in the first semester. They had water slides on the floor which caused major flooding (duh!) as well as all the tiles to pop up. Some guy took a dump in the hall, and we had a psycho janitor who went bazooka when his mop handle was broken in half. The stories go on from there, but you get the picture. My first roommate was Ron Bruno – a heavy smoker and Rugby player.

1985 – THE SUMMER OF HELL

1985 was labeled the year from hell by both Peet and me. I cannot possibly capture the horror of it all in writing. This was also the only year in all the ones documented on this site that was not documented in audio or video. I will attempt to outline some of the highlights here. Some of the lowest of the lowest are as follows:

- My parents’ divorce is final
- My childhood home is put up for sale – and sold
- My girlfriend breaks up with me, and my first date after that is with an alcoholic
- I move in with Peet for the summer in his studio apartment
- I work full time at Toys R Us for $120 a week
- Peet’s date tries to kill herself while we are out on a double date

One of the most difficult years of my life was 1985. To start the year off, the home I spent my teenage years in was put up for sale. To say I had great memories there is an understatement. My father designed that house and I grew up there between ages 12 and 19. A lot happens to a kid in that period and all of it was experienced within this house. A week before we moved out, we had a major bash. We had about 150 people there, most of whom wandered in off the street. Some trucker announced the party on his CB radio, so you can imagine what types of people showed up. This was the bash the Barn show was supposed to be. In May, the house was sold and that was that. My home was now officially in my college town of DeKalb, IL.

There a a photo somewhere in the slideshow of where I lived during the Summer of 1985. The picture doesn’t tell you much but there was hell to breathe here. This is also the place where my girlfriend broke up with me.

ALCOHOLIC GIRLFRIEND

Girlfriend is a very strong word here, but I went out with a girl over the summer of 1985 who I met at the Riverwalk in Naperville, IL. She and I went back to Peet’s apartment to drink a little. Peet and a couple of others were there as well, so it was quite innocent. The next morning, I woke up on the couch that I slept on for the duration of the summer. I felt something lumpy in the sofa. I pulled it out and it was a baby bottle. Peet had no idea where it came from. Later on that day, the girl I met came over to pick it up. No questions asked! A few weeks later while we were out on a date, she pulled out the baby bottle in the car and started sucking on the nipple. It turns out it was filled with wine. We were on our way to a UB40 concert at Poplar Creek. When we were sitting in our seats she pulled out a plastic ziplock baggie filled with wine and drank that. During the show she stood up on her seat and fell backwards into the seats behind us. She was totally passed out. I had to drag her out of the concert, back to the car, and back home. I never saw or spoke to her again.

THE SUICIDE DATE

Toward the end of that summer, Peet and I went on a double date. We went down to Joliet where one of the girls lived. In the middle of a normal conversation, Peet’s date excused herself to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes we wondered what was taking her so long. It turns out she locked herself in the bathroom and slit her wrist. We spent the next several hours helping her get a grip. She didn’t do a “very good job” since she didn’t cut parallel to the vein, but it shook us up a bit. I ended up taking off with my date while leaving Peet in Joliet to keep an eye on his date. She eventually threw Peet out of her house and he ended up sleeping at the neighbor’s house. The neighbor just happened to have a son who was being released from jail THAT NIGHT and he was on his way home. So where are they now?? Rumor has it that Peet’s date ended up marrying her psychiatrist and the son who was released from jail was hit by a truck and was killed a year or two later.

1986

I completed my second year of college at NIU. It was also in this year that I realized I did not want to go into radio as a career, so I changed my major to Marketing. However, prior to this decision I was given a radio show at the NIU station. The timeslot was 6-9am on Sunday mornings (Who in college is up listening to the radio at that time??). I lasted two weeks at that before quitting altogether. I was not allowed to do a talk show as I had done in high school. It turns out Fred Moore was much more tolerant. I was forced to follow a progressive rock format and to play bands that I had never heard of. Dave continued to do shows on the station for the duration of his college career. Every now and then, I would sneak in the studio to do a 2-minute bit with him just for snicks.

This was the summer of telemarketing jobs. After one hour of rejections, I attempted to quit my job at World Book Encyclopedia. Instead they convinced me to stay on in their ‘verification’ department. This is where I would lose someone ELSE’s sales because I would have to call the customers yet another time to make sure they really bought from us. The customers would get so pissed at us that they would just pull their order.

That summer, I got a hold of a video camera and wanted to do a documentary of what I did after high school. Realizing only 2 years had passed and I accomplished very little, I went back to my old stomping grounds and did some shots there. I went back to the radio station and saw Fred Moore, General Manager for the station. He proudly showed me a wall display that listed his “Seven Commandments”, rules that were created as a result of the Smorg show we did. (No talking 2-on-mic, no belching on the air, etc.). After we left, Fred used samples of our show in his future radio classes. (Maybe to teach what not to do on the air??)  This was perhaps our biggest compliment from Mr. Moore.

We were still sporting the Miami Vice image of the mid-80′s. There is a shot of us in this slideshow where we made the first of many homemade videos to come. “The Boys of Summer” was shot in my father’s downtown Chicago apartment, where I stayed during the summer of 1986. In another shot you will see me with Jerry in the Studio,. We went to one of those studios in the mall where you pick a song out of something like 2000 choices. It was an early version of karaoke, but you got to walk away with a tape of yourself singing over your choice of song. The one we did was ‘Born in the U.S.A.’

THE “FALL” OF 1986

Besides rooming with Dave Jackson during my junior year at NIU, I also roomed with Larry Flachmeyer, an old roommate of Peet’s.  After a bad breakup with his Baptist girlfriend, he attempted to climb our 6-story apartment building. He made it up to the 4th floor when he slipped and fell to the ground, shattering his pelvis in multiple sections. I always thought he had a name of a super hero (Flash Meyer!!) I can joke about this now because he lived.

NOTE TO EDITOR: There are several things wrong with this newspaper article.  First, Larry did not fall from the 3rd floor – he fell from the 4th floor.  This is major oversight as it undermines Larry’s effort that evening.  Second of all, I don’t know what “sources” they are talking about, but he did not get locked out of his room.  We were all at home that night – he just suddenly left the apartment and began his climbing expedition.

1987

A lot happens over the course of this 2-year period. Dave and I go our separate ways after living together for a year and nearly killing each other over stupid things like eating cereal out of a gravy boat. Larry gets weirder after his hospital release and we have a falling out.

Rhythm of the Heat Video:

One Saturday night in the summer of 1987, we decided to make some music videos. This one was done by converting our living room into an African tribal scene to create a video off a Peter Gabriel song. We had a head start by having all wicker furniture to begin with. Note Dave “smoking a wicker bong” in the background.  The bright light is our sad attempt at making a fake campfire.  Larry was trying to sleep in the other room when this was going on, and he came out and threatened to call the cops on us if we didn’t stop.

The Lonely Guy in the Woods Bit:

After being simultaneously dumped by our respective girlfriends, Larry, Dave, and I did little else but hang around each other way too often instead of trying to date again. We started becoming pathetic lonely guys. We did things like dress up in P-coats and dark sunglasses and ride the dorm elevators on Saturday nights and just stare at girls coming on the elevator. We would also walk through the Wendy’s drive-up during a January blizzard and order Frostys. We were extremely pathetic.

The picture of Steve Martin and Charles Grodin in 1983′s “The Lonely Guy” is included here to show our inspiration for the Lonely Guy bit. Our story went something like this – After being kicked out of his apartment by his girlfriend, Lonely Guy #1 (Chris) brings all of his things to the park where he meets Lonely Guy #2 (Dave) and they decide to room together.

Dave, Larry and I rented the original movie a total of 26 times over the course of the semester. One day Larry was almost suicidal when he went to rent it and it was already checked out. He cheered up when he got back to the apartment and saw that I had already gotten it for the weekend.

Another “lonely guy” thing we used to do was call the pay phone across the street from our apartment. We already had the phone number for the pay phone. We would wait for any girl to go up to to the store and we would start ringing the phone. When she would answer we would say something like, “nice red coat you have on”. This really freaked them out and gave us something to do on Friday nights.

It was during this period that Jerry and I started to become real friends. This friendship was a nice transition from what was going on with me, Dave, and Larry. Larry began distancing himself from everyone. Dave and I started to drift. Blame it on living together. This can sometimes be a formula for disaster. We were better off working together creatively in the studio than sharing dishware and laundry soap. It started to heat up after Larry washed Dave’s underwear with a pink tie-dyed shirt. Dave went through the rest of the semester with pink undies.

1988

By the beginning of 1988, I had reached my breaking point. With only 4 more classes to complete before graduating, I realized I needed a new start away from Larry (and quite frankly, DeKalb). Dave and I had already stopped talking by this point. So Larry and I found a third new roommate to take Dave’s place. The new roommate was a bit psychotic in that he slept with a knife at night after going to sleep watching “A Clockwork Orange”. He would wake up screaming in the middle of the night on a fairly regular basis.

In January 1988 I got my appendix out.  By May, I had my ticket out of that town after securing my diploma. Jerry and I started hanging out more and more by this point. We ended up signing a lease together. By the fall of 1988, I was living in Woodridge, IL., a mile away from my old house. I also got my first real job in Chicago at Information Resources, Inc. (IRI).  I was employed there for the next 15 years.

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Jerry and I moved in together in an apartment in Woodridge, IL. Neither one of us had enough money to live alone, so we paired up for a year until I earned enough to get my own place.

One week before the start of the 90′s, I wrote a song to reflect on the fun as well as the pain over the past decade. It was off “The End of the Innocence” by Don Henley. It talked about growing up as as a teen in the 80′s, my days in radio, going off to college, surviving the summer of 1985, and it highlighted my personal values such as the true friendships in my life. It is still my best written song to date (if I do say so myself).

I went to Berlin Germany in July of 1990 to see Roger Waters perform the Wall at Potsdamer Platz, the site of where Hitler committed suicide. And I can honestly say that I was able to assist in tearing down the Berlin Wall!

There are some shots here of me getting a makeover. There was no apparent reason for this other than a lack of video material. I end up looking like Tim Curry from Rocky Horror Picture Show. After nearly 3 years of separating, Dave stops in for a visit right in the middle of the makeover bit. A lot can happen in 3 years as I’m sure he was thinking at the time. “What the hell happened to you?”

Peet McCain’s School for “Higher Earnings Through Deceptive Practices”

A survival skill dating back to the summer of 1985, Peet brings his ideas for making it to the next paycheck to life in this video. Here, Peet illustrates how to build a $25,000 credit rating just by floating a check between 3 banks.  It was good to have Peet back for this.  This was our first time together in 5 years doing something creative again.

The Lonely Guy’s Subliminal Dating Service:

After a miserable try with a video dating service, I came up with a fictitious service of my own. The premise was to take your image and broadcast it over the TV airwaves to reach the girl you wish to date. (Kind of like Coca Cola ads subliminally planted in a movie theater’s previews.)  In this video, Jerry goes through the various positions as he would on a regular date:

- “An image of you bringing flowers to your date”.
“An image of you toasting your date with a glass of cognac…”
“An image of you cuddling up with her on that love seat…”
“…you and her engaged in sparkling conversation…
“…and don’t forget that goodnight kiss”.

Surprisingly, no one wanted to finance this idea. If anyone is interested, I will offer 50% of any profits made from the service. There are a lot of gullible lonely guys out there. Take it from me, as a former member of that club.

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After almost 6 years apart because of college, Peet and I were back together as close friends. We both moved to downtown Chicago only about 2 miles from each other that year. By this point in our lives, we just about had had it with psychotic women. These are women who string you along because they don’t know what they want. Even though they have never been treated better by a guy before in their lives, they just can’t commit to a guy who would do anything for them. After several relationships gone sour, Peet and I put our trust in our pet Gargoyle. These trusting friends keep these psychotic women miles away from our apartment – it really worked!!  I never dated a psychotic girl after this!!

RESTAURANTS

Two blocks from where I lived there were two restaurants next to each other. One was Chris’ Cafe and the other was Jerry’s Deli-Pub. We took this opportunity to make this bit to promote “our” restaurants. “Chris: A Cafe” – the name is both pompous and snooty and so was the menu. This was a healthier alternative to Jerry’s greasy spoon. Another example of impromptu creativity based on our immediate external environment. Couldn’t have planned this any better! Check it out below.

OTHER HIGHLIGHTS IN SLIDESHOW:

There are a few shots of Peet’s apartment include one of his nose sculpture and the infamous “Wall of Shame”.

Rap Song ’91 – Jerry sings his tale of woe: “Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do, when your bitch be dissin’ you”. “You know they want commitment, they want us to care, but when we open up they go runnin’ scared.”

Jerry flips us the bird: One of the first things you learn in the city is not to give money to every homeless person who asks otherwise you will become one yourself. There is a shot in this slideshow of a very pissed off Jerry after a bum hit him up for 5 dollars. Jerry was not in the mood to be videotaped.

1993

In and out of yet another relationship, it was time to reflect. This meant the same old thing: borrow a video camera, call Jerry and Peet and make some more videos. 1993 was also the year I would meet the girl I would eventually marry.  After two years of living in the Streeterville area, I ended up moving to a new place. The reason for this is as follows. In 1991, I signed a 2-year lease at a brand new building. They offered a great deal for new tenants. At the end of the lease, my rent was to go up to something like $800 for a studio. I lived in a prime area–right across from North Pier, so they were able to get away with those prices. In the summer of 1993, I moved into an apartment on the the 43rd floor of Presidential Towers, in the West Loop area of Chicago which allowed me to continue paying the same rent as I had the previous two years.

There is a shot of Peet and me at Navy Pier – This is the last shot of us before both of us got involved in serious relationships. A month after this was taken, I started dating the girl I would eventually marry.  Peet started dating a performance artist. Because we were both tied down after this point, we didn’t do another full-length video until 1997.

1994

There is no video footage available for 1994. The main event in my life during this year was getting engaged over Memorial Day weekend at Disney’s Epcot center. The guys and I didn’t really hang out as much during this year.  From this point on, my life changes entirely.  My wedding date is now set for July 1, 1995.  I met my fiancee on an elevator, but turns out we worked for the same company and were actually crossing each other’s paths for 3 years.

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The wedding date was set for exactly two years to the day that I met my wife on the elevator going to work. Not much to say here, as the pictures speak for themselves. I think it deserves its own separate scrapbook because it is a turning point in my life.

A few notes: Both Peet and Jerry served as dual best men. It was great to see Dave again for my special day. Any bad blood that occurred during our days at DeKalb certainly vanished by this point.

There are a couple of shots of Peet and Jerry making their best man speeches. Jerry manages to sneak in the word, “Schmuck” into his speech. Check out the actual speeches on Smorg TV.

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At the end of 1995, Peet and his girlfriend moved to New York City. Since I was busy doing the married thing along with buying a new house, I was too engaged in those events to get too melancholy about him leaving. After a while the reality began to sink in. It was tough for a while. Major events of 1996 : Buying a house and moving back to the ‘burbs. Specifically, only 5 miles from where I grew up.

When Dave and I got together for my Labor Day party at my new house, it gave us a chance to reconnect. After 14 years of having started the Smorg show, we realized we still had some kind of chemistry. There are a couple shots of me with Dave here in my backyard of the new place. We managed to sneak in one creative bit – a Red Ass Ale Commercial.

Although we knew we weren’t going to get back together to do amateur radio again, Dave invited me to guest star on his last show for WDCB, the College of DuPage radio station. Yes, it indeed happened. For one night only, Chris and Dave reunited at the mic for a one-bit reunion show on WDCB. This was the last show for Dave at this station, so we thought it would be fun to sign off together. It all seemed very natural for me to sit at the mic again after almost 10 years of being off the air.  Although the bit lasted only under 10 minutes, it was a classic in the making.  We probably alienated Dave’s audience with some stories about the old days, but we didn’t care. This moment was for us. I have this bit somewhere in my archives so once I locate it I will post it on this site.

Jerry had his own 70′s soul show which followed Dave’s blues show.

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October 18, 1996 : My 30th birthday. We celebrated at the Corner Pocket in Chicago. Kim rounded up about 20 of my friends for the bash. Absent from these party photos is Peet, who had moved to New York City the prior year. There aren’t too many photos from this event, so this slideshow also includes shots from the next year as well.

1997

1997 marked the 20th anniversary of my friendship with Peet. Peet came into town from New York City and this was our chance to do some reflecting. We put together a “Greatest Bits” video with all of our old video clips included. But in between the segments we recorded new clips of us visiting some of our old stomping grounds. This scrapbook documents some of those places.

Now we are really going back in time on this one. There is a photo of me pointing to an area that used to be a creek. In 1977, Evil Knievel was huge and we all tried to act like him on our bicycles. This is where I tried to jump over the creek on my bike. I had absolutely no leverage, so my front tire never cleared the edge. I flew over my handlebars and cut my lip as well as lost a tooth.

There is a shot of the garage of my first home in Illinois. Going back here was really depressing. What a dump this neighborhood became. I lived here from 1974 through 1978. Peet lived right across the street from me. Peet’s brother was about two years younger than I was. Since every kid needed someone to pick on, I used Peet’s brother Greg for this purpose. Greg used to get Peet to help him out and then Peet would go after me. Since Peet was 5 foot tall and 200 pounds at age 11, I was able to outrun him. Eventually Peet found out I had an easy way to get on John Landecker’s WLS program and we became friends out of this.

Peet and I went to a school district that was testing a cutting edge vacation plan. Instead of going to school for 9 months and then getting off for 3 months during the summer, this district had us on a track system. We would go 9 weeks in session and then get off for 3 weeks. Then we would go 9 weeks and then get off for 3, and so forth. They had us divided up in 4 groups so basically the school was in session all year and you were not guaranteed to be off on vacation at the same time as your friends. Whoever came up with this incredibly STUPID idea should be tried for insanity.

We also returned to the old stomping grounds of the Barn and Castaldo Park.

Life was never the same for me after this point.  Just days after these shots were taken, I found out that I was going to be a dad.

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In March of 1998, my daughter was born. Life is never the same for me again. That little girl has brought a whole new dimension to my life. This video scrapbook is dedicated to my daughter, Allison.

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Peet started the year by moving out of New York City, and to Cleveland, Ohio.  This was also Peet’s big year, as he finally settled down and got married.  I drove out to Ohio to meet his soon-to-be wife, Luanne in March.  In April, I served as best man at his wedding.   And then of course, September 11 came and we all were impacted in our own personal way.  We will always remember where we were when it happened.  I spent the evening of 9/11 at a Laurie Anderson concert.   She didn’t cancel the performance, so I thought it would be a good place to be at the time.

2002

Okay, it wasn’t exactly the event of the decade, but the chemistry was all very much in tact after all these years.  The Smorgasbord team reunited at Chris’s house on Saturday June 8 for six hours of bonding, reminiscing, and a little ‘Spinal Tap’ thrown in for comfort.  We tried to create an Osbournes-like feel to the video we shot.  Some of it came out like that, but other parts will likely never see the light of day.  There was, however, enough stuff to pull out and stick on the 20-year Anniversary video that came out in fall, 2002.  You will also find many additional clips from this evening posted in the SmorgTV section of this site.

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The year started out on a really sour note.  On January 15, I was laid off from my job of over 15 years.   It turns out the timing of it all was for the best.  The first week of January, my daughter Allison ended up in the hospital.  What started out being just a case of strep throat, ended up leading to a secondary infection in her lymph glands.  Her neck got so swollen to a point where antibiotics were not doing the trick, that she needed to have surgery to have it drained.  It was a long recovery for her after that, and it was a blessing to have had the time off from work to help her recuperate.   I was able to bond with my family for 5 months while drawing on both unemployment and a generous severance package.  I ended up saving more money over this period of time than I had at any other point in my life.  On June 21, I ended my time off by heading back to work for a new company, DoubleClick.   In fact, I am typing this from my hotel room in Broomfield, Colorado.  I just came back from a day of training, and a fantastic dinner at the Walnut Brewery in Boulder. There is a nasty storm brewing outside now, so I am just reflecting on the last several months.

August 26, 2004 – I nearly died from a massive head injury today. I was eating lunch on a park bench outside my office building. The bench was encased within this pointy metal sculpture and I came up straight on the point of it. Whoever designed this thing should be handcuffed and imprisoned. With blood squirting everywhere at the beat of my pulse, I managed to get inside the office building where I nearly fainted outside the first floor cafeteria. I made quite a scene collapsed outside the cafe – people trying to walk over me to get lunch and seeing me sweating profusely with a blood stained shirt. Fortunately I was blessed to have a couple ladies call 911 for me and sat with me to make sure I didn’t pass out. Men are absolutely worthless in these situations. One guy just walked past me – just stared – and managed to say “Dude!!”. An ambulance took me away and I got 10 stitches in my head. Good times.

December 13, 2004 – After six months at my interim job at DoubleClick, I made the move to a smaller direct marketing firm in the town over from me. So ends six months of daily commutes lasting as much as 4 hours round trip.

2005
10-year wedding anniversary, renewed vows at the church that we became members of in 2002.

2006
Featured in much of this slideshow are some photos of me with each of the guests at my 40th birthday celebration on October 7, 2006.  I had a wonderful time creating yet more memories with people that have been a major part of my life.  I think I calculated 21.25 years as the average span of these friendships, the earliest going back to 1975!   If you were there, thanks so much for being part of this special life milestone!!! Represented here are friends from my early childhood, high school, and IRI, my employer for 16 years.

We borrowed a fire pit from a neighbor.  The evening was a typical October night – low 50′s.  We were blessed with a full moon which lit up the autumn evening sky.  The firewood smell lingered for days – in our clothes, in our house, EVERYWHERE!

My good friend Kelly for over 25 years brought birthday cake shots. See the SmorGlog section of this site for the recipe!!

Editor’s Note: I didn’t realize how many of these slideshow shots contain booze in one form or another!

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June 28, 2008 – Chris and Peet revisit their old 80’s stomping grounds in Danville, Illinois. Enjoy this celebration of friends over drinks, campfire songs and rope swinging in this combination still photo/video slideshow. Featured here are Kelly and her brother Jason. We’ve known Kelly since 1980! Boy are we old!

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About 22 years have passed since I last saw Fred Moore, my high school Radio and TV teacher and General Manager of Downers Grove, IL radio station WDGC-FM. I caught up with Fred in Ottawa, IL over the weekend as his production “Seventh Inning Stretch” came through the area. I was so impressed to see what Fred has done in his post-teaching days and how much energy the “ol’ guy” still has! His production company, Programs Unlimited, consists of Fred and his wife of 50 years, Sharon. They travel across Florida, New York, Colorado, and the Midwest each year and do 200+ shows. “Seventh Inning Stretch” is one of 15 of their programs and is all about baseball – the history, its legends, and its music. I was also surprised to hear that Fred still has a great set of pipes! It was great to see Fred again after so many years. Enjoy the attached video clip of Fred singing.

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A pretty funny clip from a recent Don Imus broadcast.

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The next year in 1986,  we went back to Danville and got locked in a cemetery that was a part of some forest preserve. They had closed up the gates after hours and we attempted to drive around the locked gates at the only point where there was an opening. Unfortunately, getting up onto the actual road required us to drive up a huge incline, and my Toyota Celica was not up to the challenge. My car slid right back into the ditch and we needed to get towed out.

So why did we want to go back to Danville again after all these years? Well, it turns out third time was a charm. This time around our trip was flawless – good food, good friends, good s’mores, simply put.. good times.  Although it had the potential for not working out that way. Check out our new video on YouTube documenting our weekend – I almost broke a hip and it was caught on video!    This truly demonstrates that you are never too old to create new memories.

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This is “Silent Movie Allison”. Chris’ daughter, Allison, performs again! It’s a silent movie about a turkey surprise after smelling gifts…yeah I don’t know…so just kick back, relax, and keep your hand OFF that mouse! It’s also Allison’s 10th Birthday! Man, where did the time go??

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Here is a video of my daughter and her best friend performing in the 4th grade variety show. They are reenacting that old Brady Bunch scene where Greg and Mike do the Father-Son talent show. Mike does a dramatic reading of a Longfellow poem, “The Day is Done”. It’s so boring that special effects are added by Peter and Bobby from the theater balcony to make it more interesting. My daughter takes on that role of the boys in the balcony.

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